Twins are Terrible Liars

Yup, it’s true. Twins are terrible liars. Or rather, it’s harder for twins to get away with their deceptions for the simple reason that it’s tough to get the story straight when you have a cotwin who may blow your cover. There are simply too many components to screw up.

Before I go any further with my story, I have a few disclaimers. No, twins are not by nature pathological liars. And yes, I am poking a bit of fun with this post at the expense of my own kids. (Don’t worry, they deserve it.) Now, allow me to elaborate.

fingers crossedMy twins are juniors in high school. Overall, they are great kids. They do well in school and are well-liked by their peers and teachers. They are (mostly) respectful to us, their mother and father. However, they are teenagers. Teenagers with a capital “T” which means they think they know it all, have seen it all, and have heard it all. Nothing shocks or surprises them (or so they say). They believe their generation invented eye-rolling, rock n’ roll music, under-age drinking, and that we, their parents, never broke a single rule when we were their age. What they fail to realize, of course, is that my husband and I grew up during the 1970s. For those of you who also grew up in the 1970s, I don’t think I need to explain any further. Suffice it to say that we’ve got our kids’ numbers, yet we’d never let them know it as it would blow our cover!

Anyway, one of the rules we have in our household is that our sons may not get in a car with any driver under the age of 18. It’s not only the law here in California but it’s a matter of safety as young drivers are at a much greater risk of traffic accidents. Our boys don’t like the rule but they abide by it.

Or, so I thought.

After school this past Friday, I got a call from one of my twins letting me know that he was at Starbucks with his friend, Allie. It’s common for all my boys to head out in different directions straight from school. As long as I get a phone call letting me know where they are, it’s all good. I don’t mind driving in three different directions to pick them all up either. Since my sons still don’t have their licenses, I’m their unofficial taxi driver and I’m good with that.

When I asked the Starbucks twin, however, if he had taken the bus he said, no, Allie’s mom had picked him up from school and driven them both. I remember thinking at the time that his story didn’t sound right but I was distracted—as mothers often are—helping my other son, the cotwin, get ready for a Friday night get together at our house. So I let it go.

But a few moments later the Starbucks’ cotwin inadvertently dropped a bombshell while we were talking about the events of the day, specifically what was going on after school. “Oh, yeh. Allie came by,” the cotwin said. “He got in her car and they drove off.”

“What?” I yelled. “You mean it wasn’t Allie’s mom?”

My bomb dropper’s face froze. “Uh….” was all he could say for a moment. “Uh, well…I think I saw Allie’s mom. Yup, yup. Allie’s mom was there.”

Yeh, sure.

How could I have not caught that earlier? It was straight from the Parenting Teenagers 101 handbook: Kids will lie to circumvent the rules. Of course Allie had picked him up! She drives her car to school every day and her school is right down the street from my son’s high school! What a rookie mistake on my part.

The next day, my husband and I pulled the Starbucks twin aside and simply called him on his lie. We didn’t rat out his cotwin as the one who tipped us off. That would have been another rookie mistake—never disclose the name of your informant. The Starbucks twin folded like a house of cards.

See? Told you twins were terrible liars. And thank God for it.